Showing up exactly as I am
I committed to write in the Diaries today. I felt incredibly inspired after my morning breathwork, a lovely sit with my journal and a slow jog in the sunshine. Then I took a shower, made some breakfast and somewhere between then and now I seem to have lost the spark. But here I am anyways. I said I would write in the Diaries today and I am staying true to my commitment (even if that only means a few sentences squeezed out onto the page).
It's interesting to listen to my mental chatter right now. It's telling me how lame this is and how no one is going to want to read it. It's trying to shame me into not sending out the email to let my subscribers know that I have posted an entry for today. I hear it taunting me. Who would want to read this worthless collection of words? You know you're better than this, right? All you have to do is put in a little more effort and make the magic happen. Get over yourself and get to work.
Have I mentioned that my mind can be a really shitty cheerleader?
Magic can't be forced and "get to work" is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Thank you mind and go take a nap. I didn't create this space to be "work". The Diaries are my space for creative self expression which means I'm allowed to be messy and imperfect.
My shitty cheerleader mind flips me the bird and rolls her eyes before stomping off. I just shake my head and smile. So typical. I know she'll come back around and I'll be here with love and compassion when she does. As soon as the energy of my mind is clear, the wisdom of my heart rises to the surface. Suddenly, I hear the gentle words of my soul.
What if this is exactly what someone else needs to hear?
What if there is someone else who needs to see what it's like to show up authentically. Someone who may be inspired by seeing raw self expression rather than another over edited and perfectly curated story about how wonderful life always is. What if my magic for today is just being real. Showing up exactly as I am. Nothing more. Nothing less. And that is totally ok.