Surfing the waves of doubt
I subscribe to Kathrin Zenkina's (the Manifestation Babe) text messages and received this from her this morning.
"Your ego gets the loudest right before your biggest breakthrough. Don't listen to your doubts. Right now is the most crucial time to keep the faith. Faith matters most when you have the least of it. That's when it's REAL faith. Don't you dare give up or settle for anything less than what you REALLY want."
My first thought was "Wow! She nailed it today."
My second thought was "I wonder if anyone would like to receive text messages like that from me?"
Back to the first thought. It does feel like the waves of doubt get bigger the closer I get to my goals. I imagine it's like trying to get to shore after you've been lounging out in the ocean. You have to swim through the space where the waves break. There is lots of energy there and if you're not careful, you could be swept back out to sea.
Where is this alive in my life right now?
Ceremonial Breathwork is continuing to evolve and every opportunity to host is another opportunity to sprinkle a little more of me into the process. I love this work with every ounce of my being. I love curating the experience with all the tools that light me up. I love putting together a playlist that evokes emotion and gets my own body moving. I love leading people in a way that I know will deliver results for their highest good. I seriously just love the whole thing to pieces.
It is so me and I just want everyone to experience it!
And yet, I seem to get stuck, confused and flustered during the sales and promotion part of the process. I write the invitations that I think make it a no brainer and the sign ups are starting to trickle in. That is my wave break part of the swim to shore. It's where my doubts still try to crush me even though I'm getting better at recognizing the wave before it shoves me under water.
Will being crushed by the waves of doubt ever go away? Maybe. Maybe not.
Perhaps I'll just become a better swimmer. Perhaps all these attempts to reach shore will eventually build the faith muscles that will carry me there no matter what happens along the way. Or perhaps the Universe will throw me a surfboard and I'll figure out how to ride that bad boy safely to shore.
Hmmm. I wonder what the surfboard represents metaphorically in my reality. Is it a tool or resource that would allow me to get ahead of any doubts or fears? That would be awesome!
I'd love to live a life without doubts, but is that really even possible?
The metaphorical surfboard would lead me to believe that it's not a matter of getting rid of the doubts but learning how to master the process of getting ahead of them. Perhaps the surfboard is having faith in myself and my vision.
Oh jeez. Did I really just circle all the way back around to her initial text message?!
I totally did. I guess that's what makes it a good quote to contemplate. Perhaps I need to focus more on my surfboard of faith than the potential size, shape and intensity of the waves of doubt. Maybe I just need to realize they are coming and if I can paddle and stand before they arrive, I'll catch the one that will take me all the way into shore.
In other words, just keep going. Now is not the time to quit. Believe it will happen and paddle like hell until it does.