Things didn't go as planned
Last night I held a Breathe with Tiffany experience that did not go as expected. All day leading up to the event, I felt like my energy was a little off. I could feel this weird push-pull sensation that I thought was my mind trying to decide if it wanted to be productive or enjoy a relaxing Sunday. Since I couldn't quite access relaxation, I chose to study and do a few administrative things to ease my mind instead.
As the event approached and I noticed that the energy hadn't really changed, I decided it just was what it was. I also remembered that the super full moon could be stirring something up, and there wasn't much I could do besides lean into my own grounding practices and ride it out.
Then, my loving and supportive co-host sent me the cards she had drawn for the group. I looked at them and immediately knew I needed to change my focus. The first card was "chaos and conflict." That was the energy that I felt, but I didn't want it to become a spiral of worry or dread (my younger self's habitual response).
Instead of giving it any more attention, I called in my Spirit Guides and thanked them for guiding and supporting the group and me. I opened the virtual doors to the event and allowed myself to feel the wave of energy flow in.
Needing to feel grounded again, I started us off with a therapeutic breath practice. It helped, but it certainly wasn't a cure-all. I tripped over my words a few times, and for the first hour, the whole thing felt a little more clunky than I'm used to.
Instead of fretting over it, I added an extra breath practice and dropped into a slightly longer grounding meditation than normal. It wasn't perfect, but I felt the energy shift around the halfway point, and I knew that it was all going to be ok.
As I started everyone into the event's active breathwork portion, things seemed to be going well. Two songs in, I received another wild card—someone mentioned in the chat that they couldn't hear the music. I asked my co-host if she could hear it, and she said she could. Then I had a second person drop into the chat box that they also couldn't hear the music.
My heart skipped a beat (or maybe two). I private messaged my co-host and asked, "what do I do?" Her response was powerfully simple. "Relax." I knew she could hear the music, which meant others must've been able to hear the music as well. So, I took a deep breath and reached out to Source for assistance. The words that flowed into my awareness were pure, love-filled reassurance.
"Everything is happening exactly as it is meant to be."
I allowed myself to sink back into my intuitive state and trusted that everyone was receiving exactly what they needed at that moment. I released any resistance to this being my fault or something that would ruin someone's experience. Instead, I leaned into trust and allowed myself to be guided through the remainder of the event.
When we got to the end, one woman shared how she was blown away. It was exactly what she needed on so many levels. Another woman who couldn't hear the music said she saw beautiful visions, and it was exactly what she needed to. Then the chatbox began to fill with thank yous and appreciation. I could feel the love emanating from the group, and I knew at a much deeper level that everyone had received what they needed to receive (even if I didn't get to know why or how).
After the event, I was processing what happened, and I realized that this is another confirmation of how I am growing and evolving as a guide, teacher, and healer. I learned that I could handle a bit of chaos without losing my mind, emotional center, or intuitive connection. I also learned that I could trust Spirit has a plan and that everyone receives exactly what they need (including me). I also realized that sometimes it is in the imperfection that people experience the greatest growth and that is truly a gift.
I am grateful for the challenges and twists and turns that I experienced yesterday because they show me how much I've grown. They also allow me to see how I am expanding my capacity to be comfortable in the discomfort of growth and expansion. I'm not sure if the challenges will get easier or harder from here, but I'm ready to keep experiencing them because I can't imagine being in this world and not doing the work.